Bwwwaaaaaaahahahahahahahaahahah!

Yesterday on my way home some stoopid chick was driving all erratic as she passed me, and I could see her stoopid hand holding up her celly while she was looking all over the place trying to make her next stoopid move. So naturally I wished her to die in a fiery inferno. Unfortunately she just rumbled out of sight. But, about 5 to 10 minutes later, I caught up to her as she was trying to pull out of the backed up lane on the Port Washington Narrows bridge, and into the other lane which was moving quickly. I stayed back. As I watched, she tried to make a break for it, still holding her stoopid phone to her stoopid head. Unfortunately for her the traffic was moving too quickly. Fortunately for me though, the traffic in our lane was at a dead stop, but she couldn't see that because of her stoopid hand holding up her stoopid phone. BANG! She rammed into the poor old lady in front of her, and as I went by, I couldn't help but laugh out loud (LOL for the written language impaired). "HA HA HA HA HA HA, that was fuckin' awesome", I said to myself, "I must have magical powers!" Ok ok, I know what your thinking, "but she didn't die in a fiery inferno". So what, I guess I have weakened magical powers. I bet I must have magically created 100's of minor accidents all over the world. I could probably take credit for all kinds of dents, scrapes, bruises, and slightly itchy netherregions all over the world. What a great feeling of power. So I guess I must be "Commander in Chief of Smallish, None-too Horrific Accidents and Stuff". So don't question me, I am the Commander in Chief. And don't piss me off either cause you never know when I might lie about you cutting me off in traffic and send in the troops! (Magical troops)